|
any bdsm, articles bdsm, asian bdsm, ass bdsm, bd bdsm,
bdsm, bdsm 247, bdsm 4 all, bdsm all, bdsm arena,bdsm bank, bdsm beheading,
bdsm blogspot, bdsm board, bdsm book, bdsm books, bdsm box, bdsm cage,
bdsm cave, bdsm circle, bdsm cock, bdsm collect, bdsm comics, bdsm de,
bdsm drawings, bdsm electro, bdsm era, bdsm extreme, bdsm extreme torture,
bdsm factor, bdsm fantasy, bdsm fix, bdsm flash, bdsm foot, bdsm for all,
bdsm forced, bdsm fr, bdsm francais, bdsm france, bdsm français, bdsm
galleries, bdsm game, bdsm games, bdsm hard, bdsm here, bdsm hogtied, bdsm
humiliation, bdsm info, bdsm library, bdsm links, bdsm needle, bdsm
needles, bdsm net, bdsm network, bdsm ocean, bdsm ou, bdsm pain, bdsm
paper, bdsm penis, bdsm personals, bdsm piercing, bdsm pissing, bdsm
punishment, bdsm pussy, bdsm rope, bdsm sense, bdsm slave, bdsm slave
girl, bdsm slavegirl, bdsm slaves, bdsm sphere, bdsm stories, bdsm story,
bdsm stream, bdsm streaming, bdsm submission, bdsm suspension, bdsm test,
bdsm tgp, bdsm tied, bdsm tit torture, bdsm torture, bdsm tortured, bdsm
tortures, bdsm toys, bdsm tv, bdsm vault, bdsm vid, bdsm view, bdsm whip,
bdsm whipping, bdsm wiki, bdsm wikipedia, bdsm woman, bdsm-insex, bdsm-men,
best bdsm, blogs bdsm, bound, bound bdsm, breast bdsm, brutal bdsm, bsdm,
caning, caning bdsm, captive male bdsm, cbt, cbt bdsm, chained,
citizencane, corset bdsm, cruel, cruel bdsm, discipline, discipline bdsm,
dungeon, dungeon bdsm, education bdsm, enema bdsm, erotic bdsm, extreme,
extreme bdsm forum, extreme board bdsm, female bdsm, fiction bdsm, film
bdsm, free bdsm, french bdsm, full bdsm, gallerie bdsm, high quality bdsm,
hogtied, home bdsm, homemade bdsm, hotel bdsm, humiliation, image bdsm,
images bdsm, initiation bdsm, inquisition bdsm, insex, insex bdsm,
japanese bdsm, kink, kink bdsm, le bdsm, leather bdsm, lesbians bdsm,
maitresse, male bdsm, master bdsm, men bdsm, mistress bdsm, mistresses,
montrees bdsm, new york bdsm, only bdsm, outdoor bdsm, pony girl bdsm,
ponygirl, ponygirl bdsm, pregnant bdsm, punishment, questionnaire bdsm,
redtube bdsm, roissy bdsm, rope, rubber bdsm, russian bdsm, sadism, see
bdsm, selfbondage, sensation bdsm, site bdsm, sklavin, slave, slavegirl,
slaves, sm, soumission, strong bdsm, submissive, submissive bdsm, teens
bdsm, tied, tit bdsm, tit torture, tits bdsm, top bdsm, torture, tortured,
whip, whipped, whipped bdsm, whipping, women bdsm, www exclusive bdsm com,
youporn bdsm, youtube bdsm, gay, hard, sm, bdsm, leather, rubber, latex,
cuir, gummi, gumi, gumy, goma, pig, party, night chaps.
amateur hard,
annonce bdsm hard sm, annonces bdsm hard sm, annuaire bdsm, annuaire sm,
bdsm, bdsm chat, bdsm cuir, bdsm esclaves, bdsm extreme, bdsm fessées,
bdsm fouet, bdsm gratuit, bdsm hard, bdsm homme, bdsm hommes, bdsm
humiliation, bdsm punition, bdsm sadique, bdsm severe, bdsm slave, soumis,
soumission, torture, travesti, blog bdsm sm, bottes hard sm, chapshard,
cherche sm, collier bdsm, collier hard, collier sm, contrat bdsm, contrat
sm, couple gay homo,
cravache bdsm sm, cuir hard sm, docile bdsm sm, dominateur bdsm hard sm,
donjon bdsm hard, dressage bdsm hard sm, esclave bdsm hard sm, esclaves sm,
fessées sm, film hard, fouet hard, gay pride, gratuit, hard amateur
extreme gratuit, hard slave, histoire bdsm, histoire hard sm bdsm,
histoires hard sm, homme hard sm, hommes hard sm, homo, homos, homosexuel,
humiliation hard sm bdsm, jeux hard, jeux sm, lavement bdsm, lavement hard
sm, liens bdsm sm, ligotage sm, maitre bdsm hard sm, maitresse bdsm hard
sm, maitresses bdsm sm, martinet bdsm sm, maître bdsm, maître sm,
maîtresse, maîtresse bdsm sm, mecs, menottes bdsm, menottes sm, photo
hard, pieds hard sm bdsm, punition hard sm, recherche bdsm, recherche sm,
recit bdsm, recit hard, recit sm bdsm, recits hard sm, rencontres bdsm,
récit bdsm, récit hard, récit sm, récits bdsm, récits sm, sadique, slave
sm, sm, donjon, sm gratuit, sm hard, sm sadique, sm severe, soubrette bdsm,
soubrette hard sm, soumis hard sm, soumise hard, soumise sm, soumises
hard, soumises sm, soumission hard, torture hard sm, tortures hard,
tortures sm, travesti hard, travesti sm, uro bdsm, uro hard, uro sm.
Personnellement, je suis réellement et exclusivement safe-sex et hard
anti-bareback.
asb
Sometimes a.s.b.. See alt.sex.bondage
AT
Animal Training
abrasion
Stimulating the surface of the body with abrasive materials, for example,
rough silk, chamois leather, fine sandpaper, brushes, wire wool. An often
overlooked but surprisingly effective set of techniques, especially on a
blindfolded bottom. More details in the forthcoming Factsheet; see also
surface play.
accident prone
In personal ads, usually means pissing and/or shitting while still clothed.
See scat, piss.
acucullophallia, acucullophilia
State of being circumcised (of men), attraction to men who are circumcised.
See circumcision.
adult babies
May refer to those who gain fetishistic satisfaction from dressing up in
infants' clothing and using associated objects like dummies and cribs; may
also indicate those who enjoy elaborate role-playing scenes in which they
act out the part of a baby as fully as possible. See infantilism.
age play
Play that involves taking on the role of someone of a different age. Most
commonly, adults take on the role of children, perhaps in a submissive
capacity -- see also daddy/boy, infantilism. Younger people may also take
on the role of older people.
Albert
Short for Prince Albert piercing -- see the Piercing Glossary
alcohol
Most likely to be encountered in an SM context in one of three ways
1. As a cleaning agent in scenes involving breaking the skin. In this case
you need 70% rubbing alcohol, or (in Britain) surgical spirit. This should
be obtainable from most pharmacies, though in some areas they are
reluctant to supply it since it is used in the preparation of certain
illegal drugs. Convenient alcohol-soaked pre-injection swabs, 'Mediswabs',
are also available. See Resources in the Play Piercing Factsheet.
2. Used for its property of burning at a relatively low temperature in
heavy temperature play scenes.
3. Used in its familiar form of alcoholic drinks for its disinhibiting,
intoxicating and, in piss scenes, diuretic properties. Beware of using it
to excess, however, especially in potentially dangerous play. See the
Drugs Factsheet.
algolagnia
Love of pain, from the Greek. Psychological term to describe SM preferred
by sexologist Havelock Ellis, who saw it as 'pain given in love'. Perhaps
useful to describe that element of SM that is about the enjoyment of pain
itself rather than acting out domination and submission. Ellis's
definition is quoted in the Boundaries section of the Dynamics and
Definitions Sourcsheet; see also sadomasochism.
alt.sex.bondage
asb or a.s.b.. Old-established mixed gender and sexuality Usenet newsgroup
concerned with a wide range of SM activities as well as just bondage.
Unfortunately the newsgroup itself has largely been swamped by commercial
sex advertising but there is still a useful home page, along with various
FAQs and classic postings. Much of the discussion from the group has
shifted onto alt.torture. There is also a gay and lesbian mailing list, gl-asb,
hosted by Queernet.
altocalciphilia
Fetish for high heels -- see under high heels.
ampallang
Horizontal piercing through the glans penis -- see the Piercing Glossary.
An account of traditional ampallang piercings is in the Sourcesheet.
amyl nitrite
See poppers
anal intercourse
See fucking.
ankle cuffs
See handcuffs.
ankle restraint
Bondage device placed around ankle -- see restraint 2.
animal training
AT. Games in which one or more partners, usually the bottom(s), takes on
the role of an animal. The commonest is probably a dog, though horses are
also popular. The 'animal' may imitate animal behaviour, wear items such
as collars, leads, bridles and so on, or carry out tasks associated with
the animal, such as pulling a vehicle. Scenes vary enormously, both in
elaborateness and in authenticity. There is no necessary connection with
any sexual attraction to real animals. See the forthcoming Briefing.
The Dog House - a gay male dog-training page, with other SM material too.
apadrayva
Vertical piercing through the glans penis -- see the Piercing Glossary
aromas
Normally refers to poppers.
arseplay
US: assplay. Any games involving stimulation of the arsehole, almost
certainly by inserting objects inside it. See douching, fisting, fucking,
insertive toy. Hygiene precautions should be observed with these
activities -- see safer sex.
asphyxiaphilia
See breath control.
assplay
See arseplay.
auto-erotic asphyxiation
See breath control.
BD
Sometimes B/D, B&D. Bondage and Discipline. Sometimes used interchangeably
with SM but more strictly referring to practises involving bondage and
role-playing or humiliation but little or no pain. Sometimes thought to
stand for Bondage and Domination, but see also DS. See also BDSM.
BDSM
Sometimes BD/SM. Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism
and Masochism. Catch-all term much used in North America to lump together
those perves who play with physical pain and those who don't, reflecting a
concern that the term SM, with its associations with pain, is not always
appropriate. See also BD, SM.
BDSM emblem
This recently designed symbol is gaining some popularity in the perve
community. See in the Codes and Symbols sourcesheet.
BJ
Blowjob -- see fellatio.
BT
See ball torture.
ball torture
BT. Causing sensation, discomfort and pain to the male testicles, often
including the scrotum as well. For more details see the Briefing.
ball toy
A wide variety of toys are available for playing with the balls, including
straps, stretchers and weights -- see 'What to Use' in the Ball Torture
Briefing
Bastille
Pseudonym of late gay male erotic artist Frank Weber -- see Deviant
Personalities. The name is sometimes cited in contact ads to indicate
those who share Weber's interests in heavy rubber, control, piss and shit.
bastinado
Form of torture or punishment involving beating the soles of the feet;
these are very tender and should be handled with care. See The
Flagellation Factsheet.
bear
Usually a large, bearded, perhaps older and even overweight man,
preferably with substantial body hair. The bear community overlaps with
the gay leather community and those who describe themselves as, or say
they are seeking, bears may have very 'masculine' images and interests
that sometimes shade over into SM. A smaller or slighter and perhaps
younger and submissive man who seeks the company of bears is sometimes
called a cub. See also daddy.
beating
Striking typically administered as punishment, particularly in connection
with childhood punishments such as spanking, caning or belting but also
used (perhaps more so in England, where some schools referred to corporal
punishment with the cane as 'beating') of more 'adult' scenes like
whipping. Can mean more 'violent', bruising striking such as punching, as
in the expression 'beating up'. See The Flagellation Factsheet.
belt
See belting.
belt clip
Fastening normally made in a g-shape, opened and closed with a sprung
lever, designed for fastening keyrings onto belts and so on. Heavy duty
versions are useful and convenient fastenings in bondage -- see under
Other Fastenings in the Bondage Reference. Belt clips with key rings worn
on left or right have also been used as codes to indicate top and bottom
respectively.
belting
Striking with a belt, normally on the buttocks or thighs but sometimes on
the shoulders. In everyday language, sometimes used more generally: 'belting
someone in the mouth' is more likely to involve the backs of the hands
than a belt. See The Flagellation Factsheet.
Berkley, Theresa
Early 19th century (d. 1836) London-based professional dominatrix and
flagellation specialist; the 'Berkley machine', a bondage device intended
to expose the body for beating, is named after her. For an account see The
Flagellation Sourcesheet: The Flogging Whores of Old London.
beta-endorphin
See endorphin.
birch, birching
Light wooden rod or bundle of twigs, traditionally from the birch tree;
striking with such an implement. See The Flagellation Reference.
black
Hanky code for 'heavy SM', usually involving flagellation of some sort
and/or other forms of painful play.
blackroom
See playroom.
blend modality
Method of hair removal combining electrolysis and thermolysis. See
depilation.
blindfold
Temporarily blocking the sense of sight is a common technique in SM scenes.
It can make the bottom feel more vulnerable, help them concentrate or 'get
into the headspace', and is essential to the sorts of abrasion and surface
play games where everyday objects are used to give unexpected sensations.
Use purpose-made blindfolds such as the cheap ones made for travellers and
often distributed free by airlines, or the more expensive ones in leather
or rubber from perve shops; hoods with no eyeholes or blockable ones (tape
over gas mask lenses with Gaffa tape); improvised blindfolds from scarves,
hankies, long socks, bandages (Ace are a favourite). Check the blindfold
first: they normally have to be placed carefully to be 100% effective.
Safety notes: don't make blindfolds too tight and avoid undue pressure on
the eyeballs. Take special care when leading the bottom round blindfold.
Warn the bottom when you are removing the blindfold so they can close
their eyes and open them slowly to avoid too much dazzle. And remember
though some people take blindfolding in their stride, it can have
unpredictable psychological effects and be very powerful and even
frightening for some people in some situations. More details on
blindfolding in preparation.
block and tackle
A device that makes it possible to lift heavy weights with little effort
using arrangements of wheels and ropes, ideal for suspension scenes. See
in the Suspension Briefing.
blowjob
The act of sucking or licking a cock -- see fellatio.
blowing
Sucking or licking a cock -- see fellatio.
body modification
Making permanent but usually superficial alterations to the appearance of
the body, sometimes by painful processes. See branding, piercing,
scarification, tattooing.
body shaving
See depilation
bondage
Restriction of a person's bodily movement for erotic reasons using
fastenings of various kinds. For more information see the Factsheet. Also
sometimes used loosely as a code for a wider range of SM practises,
reflecting the fact that bondage interests are widespread and popular
among SMers (though certainly not universal). This slightly confusing
usage is found in the name of the newsgroup alt.sex.bondage which covered
many more sexual practises besides.
bootlicking
A common practise for domination and humiliation purposes, or sometimes
just as a means of indulging a fetish for boots. See under Hygiene in the
Boots and Shoes briefing for hygiene notes.
boots and shoes
Retifism, the fetish for boots or shoes, is a common fetish, often linked
to domination. See the Boots and Shoes briefing.
bottom
Submissive or recipient of stimulation in an SM scene -- see top.
bowline
Knot with loop as used by emergency personnel. See the Knots Sourcesheet.
boy
Common term for male submissive, especially among gay men, with less
expression of permanence about it than the term 'slave'. May or may not
imply age play, where the adult referred to takes on the role of a younger
male. Is also sometimes used of women taking a similar role. See also
Daddy.
branding
Making a permanent or semi-permanent scar on the skin by burning it with a
heated metal object, as practised on livestock and in earlier times on
slaves and criminals. Can be carried out safely with the correct technique
and aftercare but still likely to be intensely painful, and seen by some
as the ultimate either in body art or as the culmination of a heavily
submissive relationship or scene.
More information in the Alternative Bodyart FAQ maintained by the Usenet
group rec.arts.bodyart.
Also covered in the Body Modification Ezine
breath control
Asphyxiaphilia, auto-erotic asphyxiation (if solo play), breath games,
breathplay, hypoxyphilia. Games involving control or restriction of air
and/or the supply of oxygen to the brain. Strangling is usually the
compression of the carotid arteries to prevent oxygenated blood reaching
the brain; suffocation involves reducing the level of oxygen in the air
available to breathe. Hanging, where the body is suspended by the neck,
though a relatively common fantasy, is very difficult to stage in a non-harmful
way for SM scenes: remember that judicial hanging was intended to break
the spine, not cause death by suffocation. All these games are very
dangerous to play alone, and may also be dangerous if with a partner. See
the Briefing.
brown
Hanky code for playing with shit.
bullwhip
Very long and heavy plaited leather whip. See What to use: Whips in the
Flagellation Reference.
buntline hitch
Knot with a resizable loop. See the Knots Sourcesheet.
butterfly board
Toy used in some play piercing games: a card or wood board with a hole cut
to the shape of the cock and balls. The board is placed over the genitals
and the skin of the edges of the cock and scrotum is pinned with needles
or nails to it.
buttplug
Object designed to be inserted in the rectum and shaped so that it stays
in position by trapping the sphincter between the bulk of the plug and the
wide flanged base, an idea often more effective in theory than in practise.
Various designs are available: the conical shape is the most popular but
there are also torpedoes (similar to conicals but with flattened points),
doorknobs (spherical) and double doorknobs (one sphere on top of another).
They are usually made of solid latex but sometimes in other materials like
conductive acrylic for special purposes. Latex plugs should have chains
inside as a safety feature, to allow removal if they break off inside the
body: the end of the chain should be clearly visible where it emerges at
the base.
The length of buttplugs can vary between 120-180mm (4.5"-6.5"), but the
crucial dimension is the circumference of the widest point. This normally
ranges from 120mm (4.5"), or 38mm (1.5") diameter, to a bowel-bursting
275mm (10"), or 88mm (3.5") diameter. Start very modestly at first and
build up slowly.
See also dildo, vibrator. A full briefing on insertive toys is planned.
buzzcut
See Crop 1.
Back to the Top
CBT, CBTT
Cock and Ball Torture, Cock Ball and Tit (Nipple) Torture - see cock
torture, ball torture, nipple torture
CP
Corporal Punishment
CT
Cock Torture
cable tie
Narrow disposable plastic belt designed to lock back on itself that can be
used for bondage purposes. See What to Use: Cable Ties in The Bondage
Reference.
cage
Perhaps the ultimate all-round bondage and beloved of those into prisoner
and Animal Training scenes: see 'What to Use: Cages' in the Bondage
Reference.
Califia, Pat
US-based lesbian writer, activist and self-proclaimed sadist and arguably
the most influential modern commentator on the SM scene -- see Deviant
Personalities.
candle
Could be used as an improvised dildo, but much more likely to occur in SM
as a source of hot wax, in which case white household candles are
preferred for their lower temperature. See temperature play.
cane, caning
Thin flexible rod, traditionally of rattan; striking with such an
implement as in the old-style school punishment, typically across the
buttocks. See The Flagellation Reference.
canula
Latin for channel; medically any semi-permanent arrangement giving access
to the bloodstream. The wide hollow needles used, of which the best known
brand are Medicuts, are also used for permanent piercing. See How It's
Done in the Permanent Piercing factsheet.
castration
There is some confusion over the meaning of this term. According to the
OED it refers to removal of the testicles but some people use it for the
removal of any or all the sexual organs of either sex. Nullification
refers to the removal of any external organ, including nipples. The
removal of the testicles is sometimes referred to as emasculation, the
surgical operation is more properly referred to as orchidectomy and a man
who has undergone it is a eunuch. The surgical equivalent with women is
ovariectomy, the removal of the ovaries. Clitoridectomy and penectomy
refer to the removal of the clitoris and penis respectively. The term is
also used metaphorically in chemical castration, where hormones are taken
to cause a cumulative and irreversible change in the body chemistry
equivalent to that resulting from actual castration.
All these procedures cause permanent and significant changes to the body.
The removal of penis or clitoris obviously denies the person certain forms
of sensual pleasure but the removal of balls or ovaries brings about
hormonal changes that have an even greater impact on overall behaviour.
Eunuchs whose cocks are still intact retain the ability to achieve
erection and ejaculation (semen but no sperm) but may have no sex drive
and additionally will exhibit weight gain, loss of body hair and even lack
of mental acuity. Most of these changes can be reversed by taking the
appropriate hormones.
These extreme body modifications may seem to many people the ultimate fear
-- but they can also be the ultimate fantasy. Castration fantasies are
fairly common, and played symbolically out in scenes involving cock, ball
and cunt torture, permanent and play piercing and even genital shaving. A
very few people choose to make their fantasies reality.
It should be noted that even the simplest of the operations discussed here,
orchidectomy, is a serious surgical procedure with irreversible
consequences, not something that anyone can teach themselves to do safely.
In former times unwilling eunuchs often died of blood loss and infection
from the operation itself.
There are some notes and FAQs on various forms of nullification and
castration in the Extreme section of BME.
Elysa has information (in French) on biological effects of castration.
There is a newsgroup called alt.eunuchs.questions
cat
Multi-tailed whip with weighted and/or cutting ends, from the traditional
naval punishment implement the Cat o' Nine Tails. A similar whip with
plain ends is sometimes known as a flogger. See descriptions in The
Flagellation Reference.
cat o' nine tails
See cat.
catheter
Cath. Flexible tube used in medical treatment and surgery for feeding into
various body structures to allow access from the outside. In SM most
likely to mean those catheters designed for the bladder, often utilised in
SM 'control' scenes: the best type to use for this purpose is the foley
catheter, which has a balloon that can be inflated with sterile water to
hold it in place once inserted. Also a verb, catheterise (US '-ize'),
meaning to apply a catheter. See also sound, urethral play, and the
Briefing.
chain
A sometimes stonger and more lockable, though less flexible and more
potentially dangerous, alternative to rope in bondage scenes. Always make
sure you observe metal bondage rules and choose chain that is strong
enough to withstand whatever strain you want to place on it. See What to
Use:Chains in The Bondage Reference.
chair
These are useful both in bondage and as supports for bottoms during
flagellation. Elaborate purpose-made bondage chairs are available but
ordinary household ones can be adapted too. See What to Use:Chairs and
Horses in The Bondage Reference.
chastity
In SM circles most likely to mean banning or physically preventing someone
from achieving orgasm or even any form of genital stimulation in the long
term, usually as a means of asserting domination. Also known as enforced
chastity (EC). A device intended for this purpose is known as a chastity
belt or a chastity device, and wearing such a device is a form of bondage;
it can also be achieved by infibulation. See the Chastity Briefing.
chastity belt
Device for ensuring chastity.
chastity device
Device for ensuring chastity.
chemical castration
Slowly destroying a man's capacity to produce male hormones by the
administration of other hormones, having an effect similar to real
castration.
circlip pliers
Pliers that open outwards when squeezed, ideal for opening and closing the
ball closure rings used as permanent piercing jewellery. See How It's Done
in the Permanent Piercing factsheet.
circumcision
Acucullophallia, being 'cut'. In males, the cutting away of some or all of
the foreskin to expose the glans, sometimes carried out for religious
reasons, and also for hygiene, though the last reason is rather
unjustified if the penis is cleaned regularly, and sometimes because
foreskins are too tight or cause problems in other ways. Some people have
distinct preferences for circumcised or uncircumcised cocks: the
attraction to circumcised ones is called acucullophilia. Uncircumcised ('uncut')
men often have more sensitivity than those who have been cut, and of
course have more foreskin to play with. There will also be differences in
masturbation techniques.
The female equivalent is the removal of the prepuce or clitoris hood, and
is sometimes carried out when a woman finds it inhibits her orgasm. The
folk practises that are sometimes described as 'female circumcision' can
involve clitoridectomy and other genital alterations too.
Some people find the idea of being circumcised exciting, perhaps as a form
of symbolic castration. The actual operation, while fairly straightforward,
should only be carried out by experienced people under hygienic
conditions, and recovery can be uncomfortable.
More information in due course.
There is some information on circumcision in the BME.
clamp
Gripping device that can be used to put pressure on suitable body sites,
notably nipples (see nipple torture) but also noses, cunts, loose body
skin and so on. Very often a pervertible of some sort. A detailed Clips,
Clamps and Pegs Briefing is planned.
clingfilm
US: saran wrap. Thin, soft, transparent polythene film with the property
of sticking to itself, intended for wrapping food but often used as a
pervertible for bondage (see What to Use: Tapes and Wraps in The Bondage
Reference) and especially for mummification. Also sometimes used as
improvised protection against infection in oral sex scenes.
clip
Small gripping device that can be used as a pervertible on suitable body
sites. A detailed Clips, Clamps and Pegs Briefing is planned. May also be
a fastening in bondage, such as a belt clip. See under Other Fastenings in
the Bondage Reference.
clitoridectomy
Surgical removal of the clitoris. See castration.
clitorilingus
Sex involving contact between mouth and clitoris -- see cunnilingus.
clothespeg
US: clothespin. These readily available and mostly harmless miniature
clamps are the ultimate bargain-basement SM 'pervertible'. See in the
Clips, Clamps and Pegs Briefing.
clove hitch
Knot used for attaching the middle of a rope to an anchor when the load is
equal at both ends. See the Knots Sourcesheet.
cock ring
Rubber or metal ring that slips round base of cock and balls when flaccid.
See notes on cock bondage techniques in the Cock Torture Briefing.
cock strap
Simplest form is a narrow leather or neoprene strap that wraps around the
base of cock and balls; there are various more elaborate versions. See
notes on cock bondage techniques in the Cock Torture Briefing.
cock sucking
See fellatio.
cock torture
CT. Causing sensation, discomfort and pain to the penis. For more details
see the Briefing.
cocksucking
See fellatio.
codes and symbols
Numerous codes, signs and symbols are in use in the various subcultures
that make up the BDSM community besides the linguistic items that this
dictionary attempts to catalogue. The best known, although perhaps no
longer widely used, is the hanky code for indicating sexual preferences.
Some of the better known visual codes and symbols are illustrated in the
Sourcesheet.
collar and lead
Some like purpose-made ones in rubber, leather or steel; some like ones
made for large dogs but in all cases make sure they are an adequate size
so they don't need to be pulled too tight. For symbolic purposes,
humiliation, dog play and bondage. Note that wearing a collar may be an
indication of a bottom -- and being led round on a lead almost certainly
is -- but to some people a collar just symbolises kinky sex with no
indication of role. See also Collars and Leads in the Bondage Reference.
conch
Piercing through the shell of the ear, near the earhole -- see the
Piercing Glossary
condom
The male condom, also known amongst other things as a French letter (a
fairly rare term now), rubber (especially in the US) or rubber johnny,
sheath, or in Britain by the name of the best-known brand Durex (manufactured
by the London Rubber Company), is a thin waterproof sheath, today usually
made of latex, that tightly encases the erect penis and prevents the
passage of semen during fucking. Condoms were originally designed, and are
still used, as contraceptive devices, but they are also essential items in
the practise of safer sex; they may additionally be of interest to the
rubber fetishist.
A more recent invention, the female condom, is a larger cylinder, normally
made from thin but tough polyurethane, that can be inserted up the cunt so
that a male condom need not be used. In Britain the only brand available
is the Femidom. More on both kinds under Condoms in the Safer Sex
sourcesheet.
consent
The consent of both parties is of vital importance in any sexual encounter,
but the issue seems more pronounced in SM because many of the activities
are those that are widely seen as unpleasant and undesirable in everyday
life. Many SMers have therefore devised particularly techniques for
managing consent. See 'On Consent' in the Ethics Sourcesheet.
control, control scene
In an SM context, most likely to mean scenes where the top takes control
of one or more of the bottom's bodily functions, through the use of
techniques like catheterisation, enemas, force-feeding and breath control.
Could also include scenes where actions which are normally volitional are
closely controlled by the top, either through physical restraint or
roleplay.
coprophagy
Eating shit.
coprophilia
Gaining sexual pleasure from playing with shit.
corporal punishment
CP. Originally, retributive punishment involving the infliction of pain,
often though not exclusively through blows administered with some form of
flexible object like a whip or cane, and, with children, the palm of the
hand. In an SM context, normally refers to the activities of caning,
whipping and spanking. In North America, often implies some form of role-playing
in which the bottom is 'punished', especially recreations of 'real-life'
CP; in Britain it is sometimes used simply to describe the physical
activities of caning and whipping without necessarily implying 'punishment'.
See The Flagellation Reference and spanking for further discussion.
crewcut
See Crop 1.
crop
1. US: Crewcut, Buzzcut. Very short haircut usually obtained with a pair
of electric clippers to achieve the same length all over, as favoured by
skinheads and widely popular in the perve scene, particularly among gay
men. The lengths are known by the numbers on the plastic attachments
supplied with clippers by manufacturer Wahl and Co, which range from a
No.4 (1/2" or 14mm) to a No.1 (1/16" or 1.5mm). A No. 0 is shorter still,
achieved simply with the naked clippers.
2. Form of Riding Whip.
cross
A major item of bondage furniture, usually constructed of wood often
equipped with extra fixtures, for binding a person, particularly in
preparation for flogging and whipping scenes. The familiar straight cross
is known as a St George's cross; the X-shaped St Andrew's cross is much
more convenient. See What to Use:Crosses, Stocks and Posts in The Bondage
Reference. See also crucifixion.
cross dressing
Dressing in clothing usually worn by the opposite sex. In a sexual context,
can be carried out as a sexual thrill in itself, in which case it is known
as transvestism. However, is also sometimes employed in power and
humiliation games, and seems most common on the heterosexual BDSM scene
where male bottoms are instructed to wear female clothing and even wigs
and makeup by female tops. Unsurprisingly, given the unequal social roles
of men and women, men are more likely to find women's clothes humiliating,
whereas women might dress in men's clothes to feel powerful and dominant.
In the past Scottish boys were sometimes punished by the humiliation of
having to wear a kilt without a sporran, a practise known as petticoat
discipline.
There are accounts of some societies where people cross dressed in order
to have homosexual sex: the Spaniard Balboa encountered a local king in
Panama whose harem of men dressed as women included his own brother, all
of them being 'abused with preposterous venus' -- Balboa was so horrified
he had forty of the offenders thrown to the dogs (cited in Love 1992:286).
Most modern-day transvestites, however, are more likely to be heterosexual.
Cross-dressing and transvestism should not be confused with transexuality,
where a person wants to change their body to that of the opposite sex.
More information on cross dressing is forthcoming.
crucifixion
This ancient Roman method of execution is universally known from the story
of Jesus and its symbolic role in Christianity, though the details have
been distorted by history; death is caused not by blood loss -- the most
prolonged suffering takes place when the victim is just tied to the cross
-- but by slow suffocation and exhaustion. With care, non-fatal
crucifixions of the nail-free variety can be incorporated into scenes. See
the briefing.
cub
Term sometimes used for a young, and perhaps smaller and submissive man
who seeks the company of bears.
cuff
1. To hit someone, usually not too hard, with the back of the hand or arm,
perhaps the sort of thing a bear might do.
2. A metal bondage item that locks round a limb, or, as a verb, to place
someone in such an item. See handcuffs.
cunnilingus
From Latin cunnus, vulva, and lingus, tongue: the act of licking and
sucking the cunt, a form of oral sex, archaically known as gamahuching,
and also known as 'going down on' someone or 'licking (or eating) someone
out'. Can include mouth contact with the labia and the insertion of the
tongue into the cunt, but the most intense physical responses are caused
by licking the clitoris, a technique termed more specifically as
clitorilingus. Common in vanilla sex; in BDSM it may be as a form of
service performed on a top by a bottom, or a more intense form, perhaps
involving the use of teeth, can be used on a bottom by a top. Hygiene
precautions should be observed with this activity -- see safer sex. See
also cunt torture.
cunt torture
Any form of intense stimulation or pain inflicted on the female genitals:
perhaps by abrasion, clips and clamps, electricity, temperature play, play
piercing, gentle whipping and flogging and with nails and hands. The
clitoris is the most sensitive part, and the clitoris hood (prepuce) and
both labia will also repay attention. Some women are also particularly
sensitive in the G-spot, a round raised area of fatty tissue about 1cm
(1/3") diameter just inside the front wall of the vagina. Apart from the
G-spot, the inside of the vagina itself is fairly insensitive.
Some people might consider particular kinds of use of insertive toys,
fucking and fisting a form of cunt torture but these are more properly
dealt with elsewhere.
A full factsheet on cunt torture is forthcoming.
cupping
The placing of suction devices on the skin, once used to draw blood to the
surface for medical leeching but now sometimes used in scenes to sensitise
the skin and particularly nipples. Rubber suction cups found in snakebite
kits are often used; other devices include a sealable tube through which
the air can be sucked out of the cup. Avoid extreme pressure such as that
available with powered pumps, and be aware that the activity can cause
welting.
cut
A term often used, especially in North America and in contact ads, to mean
circumcised; therefore, uncut meaning uncircumcised.
cutting
Cutting the surface of the skin with a sharp blade, for the thrill, the
sensation or pain, or to create decorative scars (see sarification). The
same basic safety precautions apply as with play piercing: clean the skin,
use sterile implements such as the sealed sterile scalpels and razor
blades available from medical suppliers, and avoid areas with major blood
vessels near the surface of the skin. Two further hazards apply, however:
firstly, blades are capable of doing far more damage if mishandled than
needles; second, since the area of the wound is likely to be much larger,
it is more open to infection, and treatment with antiseptics afterwards is
essential.
Safest sites are as for flagellation, such as the upper back and shoulders,
buttocks and other fleshy areas away from the vital organs. Genital
cutting requires the greatest skill and care, and major 'body
modification' cutting such as circumcision (male or female) and penis
bifurcation are best left to trained experts.
There is some limited information on Cutting for decorative purposes in
the Alternative Bodyarts FAQ
There is a section on cutting in the Body Modification Ezine
Back to the Top
DMs
Doctor Marten's (boots).
DS
Sometimes D/S, D/s or D&S. Domination and Submission.
dacryphilia
Sexual arousal from seeing tears in the eyes of one's partner.
daddy
A role taken on by some dominants or tops that mimics that of a parent:
the style is likely to be 'kind but firm', perhaps with little deliberate
pain-giving or cruelty except in punishment scenes. A gay male daddy's
bottom is likely to be called a boy, and though such scenes can be played
on a part-time basis the role is as likely to be part of a long-term
relationship as with master/mistress-slave. Other sexualities may play
this way too, and although the terms mummy (mommy) and girl are used,
there are a number of instances of women taking on the male terms in these
sorts of relationships.
A description of a daddy-boy relationship is in the Dynamics and
Definitions sourcesheet.
de Sade, Marquis
See Deviant Personalities: Sade, Marquis de
DeBlase, Tony
Aka Fledermaus (the pseudonym is taken from the German for 'bat'). US
writer, publisher and video maker, founder of a number of influential
magazines and a respected authority on SM techniques; also designer of the
Leather Pride flag. A fuller biography of DeBlase will appear in Deviant
Personalities. See also in the bibliography.
denim
Used as the codeword for a widespread fetish not so much for the material
itself, a tough twill fabric woven from cotton, as the clothes typically
made from it, especially Western-style jeans and shirt jackets in
traditional blue, such as Levi's 501 jeans. With its masculine
associations, it isn't surprising that this style of clothing is popular
among gay men, and it is often permitted on the dress codes of leather
bars, either in conjunction with leather or on its own. There is a
considerable overlap between the denim crowd and the SM end of the
'leather' scene. The name, incidentally, derives from the French serge de
Nîmes, twill from Nimes.
depilation
Removal of hair. The removal of most body hair except the pubic hair for
cosmetic purposes is socially acceptable in women, and even expected in
many Western countries, but for men it is much more likely to be for
erotic purposes. The removal of the pubic hair in both sexes is definitely
kinky, though it has the added benefits of preventing the spread of pubic
lice and making genital stimulation and bondage techniques more practical.
It may be linked to infanitilism, or to castration fantasies, and is
sometimes carried out on a bottom as an act of domination or sign of a
dom-sub relationship. Hairless heads are becoming more acceptable and some
balding men shave their heads to mitigate their baldness, but it can also
be carried out as a sexual activity.
The commonest means of removing hair is shaving, but the hair grows back
fairly rapidly since only the hair above the surface is removed. There are
various longer-lasting but more uncomfortable techniques that involve
yanking the hair out from the root: waxing is where wax is melted onto the
skin then solidified and pulled off, taking the hair with it, something
that can also be accomplished even more violently with the use of strong
adhesive tape. Simply pulling hair out with the hands is also possible,
and in certain places has been offered as a service by prostitutes and
courtesans. Modern creams and gels render this process less painful but
should be handled with care: preparations intended for use on armpits and
limbs may be unsuitable for use on the more sensitive tissues of nipples
and genitals.
The only permanent methods of depilation involve using electricity to
destroy follicles; they involve some pain, have to be carried out in
specialist clinics and can take one to two years. Electrolysis uses direct
current, and thermolysis, alternating current, whereas blend modality is a
combination of the two.
Further information on depilation is planned.
diath
Piercing through the ridge below the earhole -- see the Piercing Glossary.
dildo
Archaically termed a godemiche, from a French phrase meaning 'I enjoy
myself'. Penis-shaped toy designed for insertion into the body. Early
versions were made of stuffed gut, leather or ceramics but today they are
most commonly made from moulded latex, often to a 'realistic' pattern but
in hyper-realist sizes. They may be hand-held, strapped on with a harness
to allow women to simulate male fucking, or held in place inside the body
by harnesses or clothing. Hygiene demands that you either reserve
particular toys for on particular people or cover them in condoms which
are changed between different people. The word is of uncertain origin but
dates back to the 16th century; it may come from the Italian diletto, 'little
darling' (McDonald 1988:39).
See also buttplug, vibrator. A full briefing on insertive toys is planned.
dirty sex
This term can refer to games involving mud, but it almost always means
playing with shit. Although an English phrase, it is more widely used in
continental Europe for this form of sex game.
discipline
Like many SM terms, used rather loosely, but usually refers to the
imposition of rules of behaviour on the bottom in domination scenes and
the 'punishments' used to enforce them. A distinction is often made
between intense and painful activities that are carried out so the bottom
gets direct enjoyment from them (see endorphin, pain) and those carried
out as a 'punishment' for infraction where in certain kinds of ongoing
relationships the bottom does not determine the limits of the activity (see
also consent). A bottom seeking 'discipline' would normally expect their
behaviour to be carefully controlled and that there will be regular
opportunities for some form of physical punishment, even if mild, for
infractions. When used with 'bondage' in bondage and discipline, (BD,
B&D), as distinct from SM, there is a definite implication that little or
no real pain is involved.
Dittle sound
A straight-shaped urethral sound.
Docs
Doctor Marten's (boots).
Doctor Marten's
DMs, Docs. A British work boot with a synthetic air cushion sole most
notoriously associated with the skinhead cult of the late 1960s, now
widely fetishised on the gay scene and the footwear of choice for many
European perves. In recent years the original flatter sole has been joined
by a thicker one with more tread known as the Ranger. See under Doctor
Marten's in the Boots and Shoes briefing.
dog training
Games involving treating the bottom as a dog. See animal training.
dom
Short for dominant -- see domination.
dom-sub
Short for dominant and submissive or domination and submission.
dominance
See domination.
dominant
Either a person who practises or seeks to practise domination or an
adjective for a dominant person.
domination
Alternatively, dominance (a form sometimes preferred in the US). The
practise of taking the dominant role in a scene, running the scene,
controlling the bottom's behaviour, perhaps simply as role play or
humiliation or perhaps reinforced by the threat or the actual use of
intense or painful physical activities directed at the bottom, and/or by
restriction, bondage and physical control. A person who takes on this
sexually dominant role, either habitually or for a specific scene, is
known as a dominant or dom. The term dominatrix has a more specific
meaning -- see below.
The complimentary term for the bottom is submission, and someone bottoming
to a dominant is called a submissive or sub. 'Submissive' is also an
adjective, but the term subby is sometimes heard. The terms 'dom' and 'sub'
to describe individuals have slightly more currency in the heterosexual
scene that among gay men and lesbians, where the terms 'top' and 'bottom'
are more common. Femdom, meaning a female dominant or a scene with a woman
top, and its equivalent maledom, are invariably used to refer to
heterosexual interaction. The overarching term for games involving
domination is domination and submission (dom-sub, DS, D/S, D/s or D&S).
Some descriptions of DS are in the Dynamics and Definitions sourcesheet.
dominatrix
The Latin feminine of the term 'dominator', one who dominates, could just
mean a woman who enjoys taking the dominant role but almost always refers
specifically to the professional dominatrix who charges for staging scenes
where she dominates mainly male clients. The work of these women is rarely
classed legally as prostitution because very often genital sex is not
involved. Some dominatrixes are renowned for their knowledge and skill at
both the psychological and physical aspects of SM techniques and a number
have made valuable contributions to the BDSM community.
douche
A simple item of equipment for douching, usually consisting of a rubber
bulb and nozzle, though the term is sometimes extended to cover other
items of douching equipment. Also the activity of douching, as in 'I had a
douche' or 'I douched'.
douching
From the French douche, 'shower', in a sexual context this means injecting
liquid, usually water, under pressure into the arse or cunt, either for
hygiene purposes prior to sex, for contraceptive purposes afterwards (not
terribly reliable), or as a sexual thrill in itself. In the vagina the
liquid is entering a closed cavity and only a limited amount can be used.
In the rectum, the cavity immediatly behind the arsehole can be flushed,
or liquid can be made to penetrate higher and further into the bowel and
colon: such a thorough anal douche is known as an enema and the sexual
enjoyment of them is termed klismaphilia. The body will quickly attempt to
expel water introduced in this way with a shitting action and controlling
this can be part of the fun.
The main types of equipment for douching are simple douches with a rubber
bulb attached to a nozzle into which liquid can be sucked and then
injected; shower attachments designed for inserting into the relevant
orifices (take great care with these to regulate the pressure and
temperature of your shower); and enema kits of the sort designed for
medical use to relieve constipation. These consist of a vessel or bag,
typically of around 2 litres (4 pts) capacity, attached to a long tube of
around 2m (6') that ends in a nozzle (there are sometimes interchangeable
heads for both anal and vaginal use), with a valve or clamp for turning
the flow on and off. The length of the tube is necessary for the bag to be
suspended above the recipient so that air pressure will force the liquid
down. Sometimes the term 'douche' is extended to cover any or all of these
items of equipment.
Douching is generally a harmless game but can cause problems if done
incorrectly. To prevent infections, the equipment should be kept clean and
should be reserved for one-person use, and should not be swapped between
arse and cunt without a thorough cleaning. Douching with someone else's
piss carries some risk of transmitting infections. Clean water is safest:
various soaps can irritate internal tissues, and alcohol and other drugs
are absorbed much more readily through the wall of the intestine than when
taken orally, with a risk of rapid intoxication and even poisoning if any
but the smallest quantities are used. Start by using only modest amounts
of liquid -- 500ml (a pint) is quite enough for an enema. Avoid high
pressure: let the water flow gently. Frequent douching can disturb the
natural balance of chemicals and micro-organisms inside the body and
vaginal douching is not recommended for women with IUDs (coils). Some
enema fans recommend eating live yoghurt after a session to replace
bacteria lost from the gut.
A full factsheet on douching is forthcoming; see also safer sex.
dress code
A set of rules imposed at a BDSM venue or party that requires customers or
guests to dress in a certain way. Dress codes date back to a time that the
scene was much smaller and more furtive than it is today, where they truly
were 'codes' that allowed those with certain sexual proclivities to
recognise each other, but they still endure in many places, much to the
disgruntlement of critics who argue that one's ability to put on certain
clothes says little about one's sexual experience and capabilities.
Typical dress codes in gay male (and some lesbian) circles revolve around
leather, denim, rubber, 'uniform' and, in Europe, skinhead gear. On the
straight scene acceptable appearances cluster round the more obviously
fetishistic materials like leather, rubber and PVC but in a more
extravagant repertory of styles, with space for the costumes of other
fantasy figures like nurses and nuns.
A more detailed discussion of dress codes is planned for the Codes and
Symbols sourcesheet.
drugs
By drugs here we mean recreational drugs, those intoxicating substances
taken for reasons other than medical ones. The marginal nature of the BDSM
community means that some drugs may be more familiar to its members than
to society at large, but in general wise BDSMers do not mix drugs and play,
and many play parties and events have no-drugs rules. Many SM activities
are potentially dangerous and it is important that both top and bottom are
alert and aware of any problems.
Nevertheless some people do experiment with drugs in combination with
scenes. Poppers are the most familiar drugs to be indelibly associated
with sex (see the section in the Drugs sourcesheet). Alcohol and cannabis
in small amounts are sometimes convenient disinhibitors and relaxants.
Some people use speed to keep them going through long scenes; others
experiment with hallucinogenics like acid (psychologically risky). The
effects of some drugs can be inappropriate: ecstasy may make you too
docile for complicated sex, and opiates like smack are powerful analgesics
that inhibit the perception of pain!
A comprehensive sourcesheet discussing drugs in relation to SM sex is in
preparation.
duct tape
US term for the tough, woven adhesive tape also known as gaffa tape. See
also What to Use: Tapes and Wraps in the Bondage Reference.
dungeon
Melodramatic term for a playroom, a room specially equipped for SM sex,
perhaps of the heavier or more leathery variety.
Durex
Best known British brand of condom.
dydo
Piercing passing at right angles through the rim (corona) of the glans
penis -- see the Piercing Glossary. |
