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bdsm,
bekleidung, berlin, berlin mitte, berlin-brandenburg, berliner, berlins,
bilder, black style, black styles, brandenburg, charlottenburg, rubber
clothing, club, erotic, extrem, fashion, deviant wear, frankfurt,
friedrichshain, gallery, ganzanzug, gothic, gummi, hamburg, hauteng, high
heels, kleidung, korsett, kreuzberg, köln, lack und leder, leather, leder,
lycra, maske, masken, mitte, mode, neukölln, pankow, party, plastic,
plastik, potsdam, prenzlauer berg, pvc, regenmantel, reinickendorf, rubber,
schöneberg, shop, sm, spandau, steglitz, stiefel, tiergarten, toys,
transparent, wear, paris, association, blog , chapshard le site, cuir,
ecmc, gaysm, asmf moto cross, motocycliste, paris, site internet, soiree,
soirée, soirées, sortir, bdsm, bilder, clothes, clothing, corset, corsets,
doll, dominastudio, dress, erotic, erziehung, extrem, fashion, fessel,
fesseln, folter, gallery, gay, geschichte, geschichten, glove, gloves,
gummi, handschellen, high heels, hood, hoods, inflatable, ketten,
keuschheitsgürtel, latex klinik, knebel, korsett, leather, leder, lycra,
mask, masks, mistress, münchen, pants, peitsche, plastic, pvc, raincoat,
rainwear, rohrstock, rubber, rubclub, shiny, shop, sie, sklave, sklaven,
sklavin, sklavinnen, sm, stiefel, stories, story, strafe, strenge, studio,
studios, stuttgart, sucht, suit, tight, transparent, vinyl, wear, wearing,
zofe, latex, rubber, gumi, gummi, gumy, goma, neopren, neoprene, viking,
treilleborg, aim, bear, bears, big, bikermen, black, boy, boys, chat,
clothes, clothing, cock, communautée, community, dudesnude, fuck, fucking,
galleries, gallery, guys, hairy, magazine, hot, hotboots, leather,
leatherboys, leathermen, links, macho, mask, movies, muscle, naked, pants,
personals, photo personals, pics, plastic, post-exposure prophylaxis,
priape, profile, profiles, pvc, qc, slave 4 master, steroid, stories,
teens, tgp, underwear, view, wear, world fist, world leatherman, world
leathermen, world skins, young, gay, hard, sm, bdsm, leather, rubber,
latex, cuir, gummi, gumi, gumy, goma
amateur hard,
annonce bdsm hard sm, annonces bdsm hard sm, annuaire bdsm, annuaire sm,
bdsm, bdsm chat, bdsm cuir, bdsm esclaves, bdsm extreme, bdsm fessées,
bdsm fouet, bdsm gratuit, bdsm hard, bdsm homme, bdsm hommes, bdsm
humiliation, bdsm punition, bdsm sadique, bdsm severe, bdsm slave, soumis,
soumission, torture, travesti, blog bdsm sm, bottes hard sm, chapshard,
cherche sm, collier bdsm, collier hard, collier sm, contrat bdsm, contrat
sm, couple gay homo,
cravache bdsm sm, cuir hard sm, docile bdsm sm, dominateur bdsm hard sm,
donjon bdsm hard, dressage bdsm hard sm, esclave bdsm hard sm, esclaves
sm, fessées sm, film hard, fouet hard, gay pride, gratuit, hard amateur
extreme gratuit, hard slave, histoire bdsm, histoire hard sm bdsm,
histoires hard sm, homme hard sm, hommes hard sm, homo, homos, homosexuel,
humiliation hard sm bdsm, jeux hard, jeux sm, lavement bdsm, lavement hard
sm, liens bdsm sm, ligotage sm, maitre bdsm hard sm, maitresse bdsm hard
sm, maitresses bdsm sm, martinet bdsm sm, maître bdsm, maître sm,
maîtresse, maîtresse bdsm sm, mecs, menottes bdsm, menottes sm, photo
hard, pieds hard sm bdsm, punition hard sm, recherche bdsm, recherche sm,
recit bdsm, recit hard, recit sm bdsm, recits hard sm, rencontres bdsm,
récit bdsm, récit hard, récit sm, récits bdsm, récits sm, sadique, slave
sm, sm, donjon, sm gratuit, sm hard, sm sadique, sm severe, soubrette
bdsm, soubrette hard sm, soumis hard sm, soumise hard, soumise sm,
soumises hard, soumises sm, soumission hard, torture hard sm, tortures
hard, tortures sm, travesti hard, travesti sm, uro bdsm, uro hard, uro sm.
Personnellement, je suis réellement et exclusivement safe-sex et hard
anti-bareback.
rack
Item of bondage furniture consisting of a horizontal platform or table
with fixing points allowing someone to be stretched out on their back or
front with easy access all round: rarely do modern racks provide the
facility for progressive stretching familiar from the popular image of the
mediaeval torture chamber. See What to use: Racks in the Bondage Reference.
Ranger
A newer version of the Doctor Marten boot with a thicker sole.
rebreathing
A form of breath control or suffocation involving breathing into an
airtight enclosure so the oxygen is cumulatively exhausted and supplanted
by exhaled carbon dioxide.
red
Hanky code for fisting.
reef knot
See square knot.
Relaxicisor
Machine similar to a TENS machine, sometimes used in electrical play.
restraining, restraint
1. Practice of limiting someone's movement with the use of fastenings of
various kinds, as in placing someone 'under restraint' -- in this sense
the term is interchangeable with bondage.
2. Restraint, a term for various objects designed for bondage purposes,
usually consisting of straps or buckles for placing round limbs prior to
fastening them together, as in ankle, elbow, leg and wrist restraints. See
What to use: Straps and Restraints in the Bondage Reference.
restriction
May mean limiting someone's movement with the use of fastenings of various
kinds, as in bondage; or a rule of behaviour placed upon a bottom as part
of roleplay; or a special kind of bondage involving binding the chest to
restrict the breathing, a form of breath control.
retifism
The fetish for boots and shoes.
riding crop
Short whip with a loop of leather on the end intended for use on horses
but very useful and adaptable on humans too. See What to use: Riding Whips
in the Flagellation Reference.
rimjob
See rimming.
rimming
Giving a rimjob. Mouth contact with the arsehole, including insertion of
the tongue inside it. More common than you might think in vanilla sex; in
BDSM it may be as a form of service performed on a top by a bottom, but in
view of the intensity of the sensation it could go either way. Hygiene
precautions should be observed with this activity: unless the area is
cleaned extremely thoroughly, including douching, there is likely to be
shit around, which may of course be the object of the exercise. See also
safer sex.
ringing
An alternative name for Permanent Piercing -- see piercing.
rook
Piercing through the ridge above the earhole -- see the Piercing Glossary.
rope
The cheapest, most widely available and most versatile bondage equipment,
for which purpose medium thickness nylon rope is to be preferred by
beginners. Much more under What to use: Rope in the Bondage Reference; see
also the Knots Sourcesheet.
round turn
A useful and quick knot with which to tie down a rope end. See the Knots
Sourcesheet.
rubber
1. After leather, easily the most popular material fetish going, though it
tends to be more popular in Europe, where items can be obtained reasonably
cheaply, than in US, where they are very expensive. It mainly takes the
form of an interest in clothing, hoods and bondage items made out of latex
sheeting and, as with leather, black is the most popular colour, though by
no means totally monolithic. Rubber in other colours is popular too,
especially in continental Europe. Most of the clothing is purpose made,
often in imitation of more conventional styles, but some items, such as
all in one suits, are peculiar to the fetish community. Shorts and
T-shirts are common but some rubber fans want total coverage, to be
totally encased in rubber.
Rubber fetishism often, though not universally, co-occurs with a
particular set of other fetishisms and interests: breath control, fisting,
piss, shaving and shit are all fairly likely bedfellows.
The character of the rubber scene has changed over the past few decades:
in days gone by people could still remember rubber clothing such as
raincoats made for practical purposes and the fetish often focussed around
such items -- for a fascinating evocation of the 1960s scene see North
1970. Today almost all rubber gear is made specially for fetishists, and
its popularity seems to be on the increase, perhaps encouraged by renewed
interest in condoms for safer sex purposes. The only vanilla items still
found are the ever popular gasmasks, wellington boots and waders and items
of heavy industrial protective clothing.
A more detailed document on rubber is forthcoming.
2. Euphemism for condom, especially used in the US.
rubber johnny
Slang term for condom.
S
S
A potentially confusing abbreviation. In SM it stands for sadism and so
may indicate a sadist. But it can also stand for 'slave' as opposed to
master or mistress. When used for slave it may be written s in lower case;
when used for sadist it is most likely to be written in upper case.
Thankfully the sense is usually clear from the context.
SM
S/M, S/m, S&M. Normally sadomasochism, though confusingly it occasionally
refers to 'slave/master or mistress', in which case it might be written
s/M (but in this usage 'M/s' is more usual).
SMer
Sadomasochist, person who does SM. See sadomasochism.
Sacher-Masoch, Leopold von
(1836-1895) Aristrocratic Austrian Romantic novelist whose semi-autobiographical
Venus im Pelz (Venus in Furs, 1869 -- see Sacher-Masoch 1980) is an
influential early account of a mistress-slave relationship. Immortalised
when psychologist Krafft-Ebing named the 'disorder' of masochism after him.
For more see in Deviant Personalities.
Sade, Marquis de
Donatien Alphonse François, Comte de Sade (1740-1817), French philosopher,
novelist and revolutionary whose novels, such as Les 120 Journées de
Sodome (The 120 Days of Sodom, 1785 -- see Sade 1966), Justine and
Juliette, are as much social satire and philosophical parable as they are
provocative portrayals of sexual violence and degradation. Immortalised
when psychologist Krafft-Ebing named the 'disorder' of sadism after him.
For more see in Deviant Personalities.
sadism, sadist
See sadomasochism.
sadomasochism, sadomasochist
SM, S/M, S/m, S&M, SMer (=sadomasochist). Human sexual behaviour is highly
complex and there are no easy definitions for the terms used to describe
it -- usage has shifted both over time and from group to group, being
adapted to the needs and opinions of the day. The terms sadism and
masochism, as used of sex-related activities and interests, and the
corresponding sadist and masochist, meaning those who practise such
activities or have such interests, were first coined by psychologist
Krafft-Ebing, drawing on the names of authors Sade and Sacher-Masoch to
characterise what he saw as disorders.
Contrary to the popular understandings of today, Krafft-Ebing did not see
the two as complements: sadists were sexually aroused by the infliction of
cruelty and pain on others or on themselves, whereas masochists were
aroused by fantasies of being controlled, dominated and humiliated.
Krafft-Ebing's definition clearly separates two tendencies which are
usually present in various proportions in most people who would describe
themselves as BDSMers, but which it is often useful to keep distinct: the
interest in domination and submission, and the interest in the infliction
of pain. However neither Krafft-Ebing nor many of the psychologists
following him, until Ellis, made a distinction between those who aroused
themselves by inflicting cruelty on unwilling victims, and those who
incorporated elements of pain and domination into consensual sexual
encounters for mutual pleasure. Thus in everyday speech the term 'sadist'
in particular is used loosely to describe anyone who is inordinately cruel
or unpleasant.
Freud first blended the pair of terms into sadomasochism, emphasising the
potential reciprocity of the use of pain in sexual encounters but
obliterating the distinction between what we might call the sensual side
of SM and the psychological, dom-sub side. This confusion has persisted
and the two are only now beginning to be unpicked by SMers themselves.
Today as it is normally used, the term 'sadomasochism' usually suggests
mutual consensual activity for the purposes of sexual arousal which
involves some sort of pain, restraint or domination. However, it covers a
wide field with very flexible borders, encompassing all kinds of things
that aren't considered normal or conventioanl sex: indeed, you sometimes
think some people use it to cover everything a little unconventional that
they personally find a turn-on.
Some people, however, do attempt to maintain the distinction between
interests in pain and in other activities like dom-sub, clothing fetishes,
bondage for its own sake and so on, and reserve the term sadomasochism for
pain games. Despite Krafft-Ebing's original distinction, today most people
on the BDSM scene who describe themselves as 'sadists' intend to emphasise
the enjoyment they obtain from inflicting pain, and those who describe
themselves as 'masochists' to emphasise the enjoyment they obtain from
enduring it, within certain limits. This narrower reading of 'sadomasochism'
is reflected in the use of more 'all-encompassing' terms such as 'BDSM', 'perve'
and even euphemisms like 'leather'.
For a more detailed discussion of the terms, and a few definitions that
have been suggested, see the Dynamics and Definitions Sourcesheet. For an
impressionistic and widely-quoted evocation of the diversity of SM, see
Donald Miesen's 'A view of Sadomasochism', posted among other places on
the Arizona Power Exchange site.
safe out
See safeword.
Safe, Sane and Consensual
A widely-known slogan in the BDSM community that aims to specify the
limits of ethically acceptable play. It is not without its flaws: we might
ask whether play can (or should) be made totally safe, and also whose
standards of sanity are being used. It could be argued that 'consensual'
actually encompasses the others, so long as both parties are informed
about the risks of what they are doing and every effort is made to avoid
unintended consequences. See The SM Orthodoxy: Safe, Sane and Consensual
in the Ethics Sourcesheet.
safe signal
See safeword.
safer sex
This term is usually used in connection with having sex more safely from
the point of view of transmission of diseases, especially HIV/Aids.
Specific advice on health and safety with respect to various activities is
discussed under the individual activities themselves; for a general
discussion of sexually transmitted diseases and SM, see The Safer Sex
Sourcesheet.
safeword
Stopword. A word or words agreed before a scene begins that a bottom can
use to ask the top to ease up or to stop the scene entirely: the
non-verbal equivalent, which may be necessary in the event that the bottom
is gagged, is a safe signal or stop signal. It is both a safety device and
a way of managing consent, insisted on by some players and avoided by
others as artificial. When the bottom uses the word, he or she is said to
safe out. For a discussion about the pros and cons see Safewords and Safe
Signals in the Ethics Sourcesheet.
St Andrew's cross
See cross.
saran wrap
US brand of clingfilm.
scaffold
Piercing with two holes on both sides of the arch at the top of the ear,
allowing a bar to be worn right across the ear -- see the Piercing
Glossary.
scat
Term for playing with shit.
scene
1. An individual SM encounter, as in 'I had a scene with x last night'.
2. The SM community, particularly the more organised and commercial social
spaces, as in 'I don't go out on the scene very much'.
scourge, scourging
A scourge is typically a whip of several leather thongs, as once practised
by religious flagellants. Used loosely, the term 'scourging' is likely to
imply a whipping severe enough to draw blood. See under terms in The
Flagellation Reference.
seizure
Medically, a bout of unconsciousness coupled with spasming of the muscles,
the best known cause of which is epilepsy. Possibly the second most common
medical emergency you might have to deal with in an SM scene -- a detailed
discussion is under Seizure Management in the First Aid Sourcesheet.
self-bondage
Bondage carried out on oneself during solo play. Special safety
precautions must be taken with this style of bondage -- for more see Self
Bondage in the Bondage Practical.
shackle
Metal bondage item consisting of round cuffs joined by a chain or bar,
discussed here as Manacles and Irons in the Bondage Reference.
shackle bolt
U-shaped metal fastening with screw-in barrel across the top used to close
it, a useful form of clip in bondage. See What to Use: Padlocks and Clips
in the Bondage Reference.
shaving
A form of depilation.
sheath
In a sexual context, normally refers to a penile sheath, an item designed
to tightly sheathe the penis. Some sheaths are items of fetish clothing,
worn separately or 'built-in' to other garments. Waterproof sheaths may be
connected to gags for piss games. By far the commonest sheath, however, is
the condom, designed as a contraceptive and now widely used for safer sex
purposes; in fact the term 'sheath' is sometimes used interchangeably with
'condom'.
Note that only a proper condom should be relied upon for contraception and
safer sex; if you intend to fuck someone while wearing a fetish or novelty
sheath, wear a very generously lubricated strong condom underneath.
sheepshank
A knot used to shorten a rope that has already been fastened at both ends
-- see the Knots Sourcesheet.
sheetbend
A knot used to tie two ropes together; the slipped sheetbend is similar
but even easier to untie -- see the Knots Sourcesheet.
shoes
There is a common fetish for certain kinds of shoes -- see under boots and
shoes.
shit
The scientific name for being aroused by excrement is coprophilia, though
games involving shit are known more commonly (and euphemistically) by the
term scat (this word is derived from 'scatology', originally the medical
practise of diagnosis through the inspection of faeces, from a Greek root
that is cognate with English 'shit', though curiously enough 'scatology'
was used in the 19th century to mean 'pornography' -- see McDonald
1996:129). The hanky code for shit is brown.
Some people may find the shit itself a turn-on, others find it as
repulsive as most people but get off on the degradation and humiliation of
playing with it; it may also be linked to an interest in arseholes (see
arseplay) as a sex organ. Shit games range from an interest in fucking
shitty arseholes, through wanting to handle and be smeared in it to
wanting to eat it, a practise known as coprophagy, perhaps as part of a
submissive fantasy about being a toilet (see also rimming).
Though having shit on unbroken skin can do little harm, there are some
health risks attached to coprophagy, particularly involving the
transmission of bacterial and yeast infections and viruses like hepatitis-B
(although shit is not particularly a risk for HIV unless blood is present
-- see safer sex). Some people act out these kinds of games as fantasy by
substituting items like chocolate cake at the last moment.
More information on shit play is in preparation.
signal whip
Medium-length plaited leather whip similar to a small bullwhip, as used
with dog teams. See What to Use: Whips in the Flagellation Reference.
slapper
Form of paddle with hinged second surface to produce extra-loud noise on
contact. See What to Use: Paddles in the Flagellation Reference.
slave
Once used more generally for an SM bottom, this is now becoming limited to
submissive in a long-term dominant- submissive relationship. See master.
sleepsack
A bag in which to wrap the body for a particularly intense form of
bondage, custom-made from leather or rubber or improvised from a sleeping
bag and rope or straps. See What to Use: Garments in the Bondage Reference;
see also mummification.
slipped sheetbend
See Sheetbend.
sound
1. Medical implement designed to be inserted into the urethra, usually
consisting of a smooth metal bar, which may be straight as in the Dittle
sound or hooked like the Van Buren sound. For more information see the
Briefing.
2. Sound, in the sense of aural stimulation, is sometimes used in the
context of a scene. More information is forthcoming.
spanking
Hitting someone with the flat of the palm, typically on the buttocks, as a
form of corporal punishment. A similar physical effect can be achieved by
using a paddle and sometimes this is included under spanking. More on
manual spanking in the Briefing; beating using implements of various kinds
is dealt with under flagellation.
Spanner
The original codeword for a police investigation in England in 1991,
Operation Spanner, that resulted in the arrest and conviction of
consensual gay male sadomasochists on assault charges, effectively
rendering SM sex of all but the lightest kinds illegal in England. The
judgement is still in place, all appeals up to and including the European
Court of Human Rights having failed. For more details see in the SM and
the Law Sourcesheet.
speculum
Device intended for medical examination of the rectum or vagina, normally
made of steel in a duckbill design. The 'bill' is lubricated and inserted
and then the two jaws are moved apart with a screw mechanism, stretching
the opening to give a clear view down the throat of the instrument.
Objects such as swabs can also be inserted through the throat and into the
office. Used by SMers in medical scenes but also in more general use; the
ability to slowly increase the tension on the opening is useful in anal
fisting as a way of gradually stretching and relaxing the sphincter.
Proctoscopes are similar devices. For safety reasons toys like this should
only be used on one person unless effectively sterilised in between -- see
safer sex. A full briefing on insertive toys is in preparation.
Spencer paddle
Form of wooden paddle with holes drilled in striking surface. See What to
Use: Paddles in the Flagellation Reference.
square knot
Reef knot. The simplest and one of the most common and effective general
purpose knots for tying two ends of rope together -- see the Knots
Sourcesheet.
stocks
Substantial item of bondage furniture based on mediaeval model, usually
consisting of a two hinged pieces of wood with semi-circular holes that
when locked together form rings to trap neck, wrists and/or ankles. See
What to Use: Crosses, Stocks and Posts in the Bondage Reference.
stopword
See safeword.
straight 8
A type of handcuff.
strait jacket
A garment sometimes used on prisoners or psychiatric patients with closed-ended
sleeves that can be strapped around the person's back, sometimes also used
for bondage. See What to Use: Garments in the Bondage Reference.
strangling
See under breath control.
strap
1. Length of leather or other material used for fastening -- see What to
Use: Straps and Restraints in the Bondage Reference.
2. As above but used for striking the body; may also refer to a specially
made item for this purpose. See under What to Use: Straps and Belts in the
Flagellation Reference. Thus strapping, striking with a strap.
strapping
See strap 2.
stretcher
Term covering a variety of toys used for stretching muscles or parts of
the body. A ball stretcher in fact stretches the scrotum above the balls
-- see under ball toy. In bondage, stretchers are cuffs attached to long
solid bars designed to hold limbs apart. See What to Use: Stretchers in
the Bondage Reference.
sub
Submissive, usually used of a person. See domination.
subby
Submissive (as an adjective). See domination.
submission
The act of or interest in submitting to a someone else's will, within
limits, for sexual purposes. See domination.
submissive
One who submits. See domination.
suffocation
See under breath control.
suspension
An advanced variety of bondage in which the whole body is lifted off the
ground and hangs free in space. See the Briefing.
switch
1. Someone who switches between Top and Bottom roles, either from scene to
scene or within a scene, also known as a switch-hitter.
2. Small cane with split end: see What to Use: Canes in the Flagellation
Reference.
switch-hitter
See switch 1.
symbols
See under codes and symbols.
T
TPE
Total Power Exchange.
TENS unit
Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit, one of a number of
machines designed for applying electrical pulses to the body at safe
levels. Similar machines include EMS (Electrical Muscle Stimulator) units
and Relaxicisors. See What to Use in the Electricity Reference.
TES
The Eulenspiegel Society.
tawse
1. Leather strap split most of the way down its length, formerly used for
the corporal punishment of juveniles in Scotland. See What to Use: Straps
and Belts in the Flagellation Reference.
temporary piercing
See piercing.
tethering
Fixing someone to a point to limit their movement, usually by means of a
rope. Used in bondage and suspension.
thermolysis
A form of electrical depilation.
thirsty
Sometimes used as a codeword to indicate a desire to drink piss.
thumbcuffs
See under handcuffs.
timber hitch
A knot for attaching the middle of a length of rope to a bar or pole --
see the Knots Sourcesheet.
top
Top and its compliment bottom are two terms coined in the last two decades
to designate the 'agent' and 'patient' roles respectively in an SM scene
while avoiding the loadedness of the existing terms like master-slave;
they can be used just in relation to the scene itself and don't imply
anything about the participants' regular practice, though they are also
used to describe people who typically take one role or the other.
Also may not imply role-played domination and submission but just who does
what to whom. Confusingly some people associate them with anal
intercourse, but it should be remembered that some tops like to get fucked
too. A person who alternates both roles, either from scene to scene or
within a scene, is known as a switch or switch-hitter.
See also domination, master, sadomasochism and the discussions of terms in
the Dynamics and Definitions Sourcesheet.
torture
In SM, usually used to indicate the use of techniques that produce
sustained sensations of continuously variable intensity, some of which may
be painful, usually focussed on some identifiable body part. May also
refer to pleasurable sexual stimulation alternating with deliberate
frustration. See ball torture, cock torture, cunt torture, nipple torture.
total coverage
Expression used by rubber fetishists for when the whole body is encased in
rubber.
total power exchange
TPE. Term occasionally used to describe a full-time (24/7) dom-sub or
master/mistress-slave relationship. See also power exchange.
toy
Generally, any item of equipment used in an SM scene; sometimes used more
specifically only for toys designed to be inserted into bodily orifices
such as buttplugs and dildos. The choice of words relating to childhood
recreation is interesting: compare with play.
tragus
Piercing through the ridge on the face side of the earhole -- see the
Piercing Glossary.
transvestism
See cross dressing.
24/7
24 hours a day, 7 days a week master/mistress-slave relationship.
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